


"Here I go again, my, my..."

by what_a_dork_fish



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mamma Mia! AU, Multi, an attempt was made, eventual forgiveness, hella ridiculous, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-13 15:02:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10516131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_a_dork_fish/pseuds/what_a_dork_fish
Summary: Yet another Mamma Mia! AU because I can't stop won't stopOr, the one where Daisy invites Lee to her wedding and Eggsy is grumpy about it.





	1. Greetings

**Author's Note:**

> Important notes:
> 
> -Eggsy and Daisy are twins, aged 27  
> -Lee is not quite as much of an asshole as the first chapter makes him out to be  
> -but he's still a bit of an asshole  
> -there is trying to force people to have a good relationship with their father so if that makes you uncomfortable/sad/angry maybe don't read this? There is forgiveness later on though  
> -not Brit-picked

__

“Eggsy, guess what!”

Eggsy looked up from screwing a shutter back on, to see his sister and her two best friends beaming at him mischievously. Well, Daisy was the one beaming; Roxy was smiling, and Gazelle was smirking.

“What is it this time?” he asked cautiously.

“Oh, don’t be so suspicious,” Roxy scolded, still smiling, which only made him  _ more _ suspicious. “It’s nothing horrible.”

“Not as bad as the goat, then.”

“The goat was  _ not _ our fault,” Gazelle replied primly.

“Anyway, Eggs, guess!” Daisy demanded, flapping her hands excitedly.

Eggsy sighed and scratched his head. “You’re not setting me up with some bloke from Liverpool again, are you?”

“No, we learned our lesson with that. I’m inviting someone to the wedding!”

“Who?”

Daisy bit her lip, fighting a grin, then apparently couldn’t hold it in. “I’m inviting dad!” she blurted.

Eggsy froze.

There was a tense silence. Then Eggsy said lowly, “I better not have heard you right.”

Daisy rolled her eyes. “Eggsy, it’s been seventeen years. You can’t  _ still _ have a grudge on him leaving.”

“I certainly can.” Eggsy turned back to the shutter and finished screwing it back on.

“Eggsy.” Daisy wrenched the power screwdriver from his hand, forcing him to look at her. She glared at him, no trace of her previous excitement visible. “Stop it. Just because he’s gone doesn’t mean he’s not our dad anymore. So you either sign the damn invitation too or I’m going to add that he give you a hug when he sees you, and mail it anyway.”

Eggsy glared back. “…If I sign, do I get to avoid him while he’s here?” he asked.

“Not if he specifically asks to talk to you.”

He won’t, Eggsy thought to himself. So he nodded, reluctantly. If it would make Daisy happy, he’d do it.

~

“Lee? What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen your own death.”

Lee rubbed his face with his hand and tossed the opened letter on the table. “Maybe I have,” he answered gloomily. “My kids want me to come to my daughter’s wedding.”

Merlin set down the lighter he was tinkering with and steepled his fingers before him, gazing at Lee sternly. “This had better be a joke,” he growled.

“I wish it were.” Lee sat at the table across from Merlin and buried his face in his hands. “I have to go,” he mumbled, voice muffled by his hands. “I can’t refuse my babies.”

“You haven’t spoken to them in seventeen years.”

“I know, that’s why I can’t refuse.” Lee’s head snapped up, and he turned his most charming smile on Merlin. “’Lin, you’re my second-best friend…”

“ _ Only _ second-best?” Merlin interrupted. “You wound me.”

“Well, Harry would murder me if I called  _ him _ second-best. Will you go with me? Be my backup?”

Merlin snorted and shook his head. “No. Weddings are no place for me.”

“Please? I’ll ask Harry, too, that way you’ll have someone to talk to.”

Merlin glared at him. “Will there be alcohol?”

“Yes.”

“…Fine. I’ll come.”

~

Eggsy was too busy to really think about seeing his father again for the last few weeks leading up to the wedding. Vaguely, he recalled Daisy telling him excitedly that dad had accepted and was bringing some friends, but he’d been preoccupied, and she’d thrown her hands up and gone to help mum instead.

The little seaside hotel mum had bought when she’d moved from London with her two small children was always in need of repairs, but now it needed major renovations, if it was to house all of Daisy’s and Jason’s friends, some of Eggsy’s mates, and mum’s family. Well, a few of mum’s family. Just her two sisters, really. Gran and Grandad couldn’t travel, the uncles didn’t want to, and the cousins had lives of their own. But Daisy and Jason still had lots of friends, and Eggsy had made some in the Marines who could make it, and there was always Ryan and Jamal. Any party was a good party with Ryan as DJ and Jamal singing.

Eggsy didn’t really like Jason, but he knew that was just his big brother protectiveness (even though he was only a minute older than Daisy). Jason was good to Daisy,  _ had _ been good to her,  _ would _ be good to her. He was every bit as smitten with her as she was with him, and that had been the situation since secondary school. Eggsy didn’t want to ruin that by being a prick.

So he was courteous to Jason, didn’t boss him around, didn’t make his dislike known, didn’t do anything that might ruin the wedding, even if he did secretly think that Dais could do far, far better.

It was Jason who brought the news to Eggsy, a quizzical expression on his face.

“Eggsy? Your dad’s here with his mates,” Jason told him, as Eggsy was fishing for another nail to finish hanging up the brand new sign on the kitchen.

Eggsy jerked as if stung, dropping his hammer on his foot. Cursing, he retrieved it, and told Jason tightly, “Thanks, Jay, but I’m kind of busy, so could you go tell Dais--”

“Oh, she’s there already. Gave your dad a hug an’ everything. She just said to tell you to get your arse over there or she’ll throw your journals in the sea.”

Eggsy’s mouth dried up. She  _ knew _ how much those journals meant to him. A dirty, underhanded trick—that she’d probably learned from him. So he sighed heavily and handed Jason the hammer. “Can you put this up for me? Thanks.” And he trudged away down the hall, ignoring Jason’s bewilderment. Jason had never understood why Eggsy didn’t want to see his father again. Well, that was his problem, not Eggsy’s.

Eggsy pushed open the door to the courtyard cautiously, and blinked.

There was Daisy, chattering away to three men. One was listening to her intently with a small smile on his face, one was looking around thoughtfully, sizing up the place, and the third was bored.

It was because he was so interested in the third man that he didn’t notice who the first one was.

The third man was… well, gorgeous. He was older, but Eggsy liked older men. His hair was thick and brown, his face was stern without being threatening, he looked fit under that button-up shirt—well, he looked more than fit, with the way his shoulders and chest filled out that shirt. He was carrying a jacket over his arm that matched his trousers; holy shit, had he come here in a  _ suit _ ? It wasn’t even going to be formal! But Eggsy couldn’t help licking his lips, looking him over.  _ Yummy _ .

The second man was equally stern, and he seemed… less approachable. For all that he didn’t look bored out of his mind, he didn’t look very approving, either. He was wearing a jumper. In summer. A fucking  _ jumper _ .

And then Eggsy turned his attention to the first man—his father.

Lee Unwin hadn’t changed much in the years since he’d left. There were lines on his face to match mum’s, lines that hardship and sadness had put there; but there were also laugh-lines, though less of them than mum had. Eggsy wanted to feel good about that—served him right, leaving them like that—but he didn’t. His hair was still brown like Eggsy’s, face still square like both his kids’, his smile the same. Eggsy wanted to hate him. Wanted to punch him.

Wanted to hug him.

Eggsy closed the door and leaned against it, arms crossed tightly. Fuck. He  _ abandoned _ them. He  _ left _ them, never sent them word he was alright, never explained himself, never contacted them. Well, he might have contacted mum, but she’d never told Eggsy about it if he had. Eggsy had spent most of his life telling people he didn’t  _ have _ a father (and being corrected by Daisy). All those times people had picked on them, people who had thought they could call his mum a slut just because her husband had left—and now he’s  _ here _ . He could have prevented all that pain by  _ not leaving _ .

But a part of Eggsy was still so young, and still wanted to run and greet his dad as if he’d just come back from a day at work. It  _ hurt _ , these two different parts of him. He’d never been good at understanding his own emotions, never been encouraged to try, never  _ wanted _ to. Anger was anger and happiness was happiness and sadness was sadness. Everything else was extraneous and need not be bothered with.

But now all three were mixed up and fucking with his head and all kinds of other emotions were welling up and he was trembling and clenching his teeth and someone was calling his name. Daisy. Approaching.

Eggsy bolted.

~

“If he’s avoiding me after everything I said I’d do…!” Daisy fumed. Lee exchanged glances with Merlin and Harry, Lee’s apprehensive, theirs dry.

“We don’t have to see him now,” Lee tried to point out, but Daisy shook her head vigorously.

“No, you have to see him.  _ He _ has to see  _ you _ .” And she wouldn’t explain further.

Merlin had to fight a smile as their quartet clambered over rocks, ducked through gardens, winding in an ever-tightening spiral; Harry didn’t fight, smirking openly. This was turning out to be far more entertaining than a normal wedding.

Finally, they ended up at the base of a three-storey tall outbuilding. Daisy put her hands on her hips and frowned, staring up at the building.

“If he’s not here, he’s with mum,” she announced, and stomped up to the door, yanking a chain beside it violently. There was a sound like an out-of-tune bell, and a voice floated out of one of the open windows above them.

“I’m busy,” the voice grumped.

“I know you saw us coming,” Daisy retorted, craning her neck. “Come down and say hello!”

“I’m  _ busy _ .”

“Fine. I guess your journals are getting a bath after all,” Daisy called carelessly, looking smug.

A young man’s head popped out a window. Lee tensed; Merlin blinked. Harry’s heart did a strange double-thump.

“You wouldn’t  _ dare _ ,” the young man snarled, and he looked  _ livid _ .

But Daisy only smiled. “Try me. I know where you hid them, too. Now come down and say hello.”

The young man stared at her, murder in his eyes. But he pushed away from the window with a curse, and Daisy clasped her hands behind her back, beaming.

It wasn’t long before the door opened, and the young man stood before them. He looked like Lee, every inch of him, except that his waist was trimmer and his muscles were all in his legs and shoulders. He glared at the three men behind his sister, with so much anger that it was off-putting.

“Hello,” he said stiffly. Then he turned to Daisy. “May I go now?” he asked caustically.

“No.” Daisy grabbed his arm and dragged him forward—or, she tried to. He dug in his heels, and suddenly fear flashed across his face, before outrage descended.

“No!” he snapped, “I’m not gonna!”

“You have to!” Daisy snapped, finally losing her temper. “How are you going to get over it if you keep fighting?!”

“I don’t want to get over it!”

“Liar!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

Lee seemed frozen, staring at the two young people. Merlin tapped Harry’s shoulder and jerked his head back the way they came; Harry nodded slightly, and the two of them slowly retreated. They didn’t leave Lee alone completely, they weren’t that cruel; but they backed away enough to give the three privacy.

~

Eggsy did  _ not _ want to hug his father.

He and Daisy played tug-o-war over his arm, she trying to pull him out of the house, he trying to escape back indoors. And their father just stood there, looking lost and a little fearful, eyes often flicking to Eggsy’s face.

“At least shake his hand, or I’ll feed your journals to the goats!” Daisy snapped, exasperated.

It was the threat to his journals that did it. She had never threatened them so much. And Eggsy didn’t doubt that she meant it. So after a few more moments of fruitless tugging, he gave ground. Slightly. Slowly. She stopped pulling so hard, but she didn’t let go, not until Eggsy was standing a few paces away from their father. Eggsy stared at his nose, and wanted to punch it flat. But it had a bit of a crook in it, like someone had already done so. Good.

Daisy took Eggsy’s right arm and lifted it. Eggsy shrugged her off and held out his hand. Their father shook it, carefully.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

Eggsy blinked and met his eyes. “That don’t make it better,” he told him bluntly.

“I know.” Lee took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He hadn’t let go of Eggsy’s hand. “What  _ will _ make it better?”

Eggsy stared. Almost against his will, he said, “Apologise to mum.”

Lee nodded, and let go. “I’ll do that, then.”

Daisy beamed.

One of the two men who’d come with Lee, the bald one, cleared his throat. The three Unwins looked at him, and the other by extension. Eggsy’s stomach did a strange little flip-flop, looking at the man with hair. He didn’t look bored anymore, in fact he was looking them over with great interest, although his eyes strayed most often to Eggsy.

“Sorry to ruin the tension, but shouldn’t we be getting back?” the bald man asked.

“Yes,” Daisy answered immediately, then turned to Eggsy. “You’re coming with us,” she ordered, grabbed his arm, and hauled him down the path. He went, scowling.

Their little group was silent as they returned to the hotel. Eggsy stuffed his hands in his pockets and pretended to ignore the three older men behind him. Daisy kept glancing at him, but her cheerful mask did not drop. He could tell it was a mask because she hadn’t let go of his arm, and she only held onto him like that when she was worried he was going to do something he’d regret. Well, he couldn’t get into any trouble if he didn’t talk, could he? So he’d stay silent. It wasn’t like he didn’t go days without talking to anyone except Daisy and mum anyway.

“Oh! You’re actually early,” Daisy suddenly exclaimed, turning a little to speak over her shoulder to her father and his friends. “The wedding’s in three more days, but that should give everything time to settle.”

“We can help out as well,” the man Eggsy decided to label as Handsome offered casually. “I noticed there are renovations going on?”

“Yes, we’re almost done,” Daisy answered cheerfully, hand tightening on Eggsy’s arm. She must have seen the bitter expression that he knew passed over his face. “I don’t think you’d want to get your nice clothes dirty, though.”

“We each packed a bag,” the man Eggsy labeled as Baldy replied. “We should have something.”

“Good!” Daisy said.

They reached the hotel just as mum was exiting it, talking to her sisters. The three women looked over, and smiled at Eggsy and Daisy—then mum saw Lee, and her smile vanished. Her sisters looked stunned, but mum’s face shuttered, just as Eggsy’s tended to do, wary and otherwise emotionless. Daisy’s smile dropped too. Eggsy felt a bitter kind of triumph, that no one was happy with the development.

But then he realized, as Daisy walked a little closer to him, that she had not told mum. And mum knew Eggsy’s feelings regarding their father. So it would be easy to guess who had invited Lee. And then Daisy would be in trouble. Eggsy’s heart rose to his throat; this had the potential to spoil the whole wedding.

“Dais,” mum said as they came within speaking distance and stopped, her eyes on Lee, “What is  _ he _ doing here?”

“I invited him.”

It escaped him before he even thought about it. Everyone stared at him, and he stared right back at his mother, not noticing how tight Daisy’s hand was on his elbow. He’d take the blame. He would  _ not _ let this ruin his sister’s big day.

“You invited him.” Mum’s voice was flatter than paper.

“Yes.” Eggsy’s was flatter still.

“Eggs,” Daisy whispered.

“I would like to talk to you for a moment, Eggsy. Inside.” Without waiting for anyone’s reactions, mum turned and marched back inside the hotel, leaving her two sisters to gape at the remaining Unwins. Eggsy peeled Daisy’s hand off his arm, kissed her temple (their signal that if she told, he’d behead her dolls), and followed mum.

One of the workers they’d hired to help with renovations was in the room mum led Eggsy to. She quietly gathered her tools and walked out, leaving mother and son alone.

Mum whipped around and glared at Eggsy. “ _ Why _ ,” she hissed.

“Because Daisy said it’d be nice to see him,” he lied with a straight face. “She didn’t know I invited him until today, though.”

“You didn’t even  _ ask _ me!”

“It’s Daisy’s wedding, innit?”

Mum pressed her lips together tightly. Eggsy could see her arguing with herself internally. He’d chosen the right thing to say; it  _ was _ Daisy’s wedding, and mum had already told her children that now that they were of age the hotel was theirs as well as hers, so she couldn’t use the “it’s my house” argument. She couldn’t say Eggsy didn’t have the right; he’d invited his friends, hadn’t he? She couldn’t even call into question Eggsy’s own aversion to his father, because he’d already told her he’d done it for Dais. He saw mum come to these conclusions, and probably others that he couldn’t think of, and he saw her accept it as having been done, and now they all had to deal with their issues and feelings like adults. Eggsy included.

He hated that. But he’d basically promised Daisy he would, by shaking his father’s hand. So he would.

Mum sighed deeply, closing her eyes, all the fight draining out of her. Her hair, straggly as it teased out of her ponytail, stuck to her forehead as sweat from work dried. Eggsy reached out and brushed the hair out of her face, then hugged her.

“I’m sorry, mum,” he mumbled. “I love you.”

“I love you too, wee,” she whispered, hugging back.

They stood there, holding each other, for a long moment. Then they let go of each other, and Eggsy blotted mum’s tears away with his sleeve, making her laugh weakly and push his arm away.

“You do all these things for me and your sister and we don’t do nearly enough for you,” she sniffled. “God, babe.”

“You raised us proper, that’s all you need to do for me,” Eggsy replied, smiling wanly.

“It’s not.” But mum took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright. I’m alright. Are you?”

“Yeah.” Eggsy wrapped his arm around mum’s shoulders, and they walked back outside.

Mum’s sisters had trapped Handsome and Baldy and were making them talk. Daisy and Lee were standing right where they had been. Daisy was hugging herself, and Lee was picking at his nails. Eggsy had that habit too. All six of them looked over when Eggsy and mum stepped out. Mum went straight to Daisy and hugged her, then turned to Lee and told him stiffly, “All the finished rooms are occupied. You and your friends will have to stay in the unfinished one.”

Lee nodded, looking surprised and uncertain. Daisy, though, looked immensely relieved, and mouthed ‘Thank you’ to Eggsy over mum’s shoulder. Eggsy inclined his head, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

Now  _ he _ had to get over it.

~

Lee, Merlin, and Harry shucked their “fancy” clothes as Daisy had called them and pulled on their work-clothes. Lee’s were grease-smeared and oil-stained, mechanic’s clothing; Merlin’s still smelled like fresh-cut wood and had patches of sawdust on them; and Harry’s outfit was dusted with animal fur and still smelled like all those dogs he’d washed. They looked each other over, and nodded. Then they trooped out to be given orders.

Michelle had a list of chores needed. She took one look at the three of them and began scribbling on it.

“Alright, er, Merlin, Adie is in charge of the carpentry, so you should ask her if she has anything that you can do,” Michelle began. “Harry, could you help with the horses? Jason’s mother insists on them. And Lee—the boiler needs fixing, and…” She trailed off, looking embarrassed, though she did not look up from her clipboard.

“I still remember how,” Lee said softly, and Michelle blushed.

Merlin and Harry exchanged a look, but said nothing.

Soon the three of them were scattered; Merlin in the attic, Lee in the basement, and Harry in the derelict stable—derelict no more, now that the renovations were nearing completion. The three of them did their work quietly and competently, without making anyone uncomfortable with their presence.

Well. Two of them did.

~

Eggsy was hiding in the stables, absently brushing one of the horses’ manes, when someone cleared their throat. He spun around, and saw Handsome standing in the doorway. Handsome was looking at him with something like calculation, hands clasped behind his back, feet spread, shoulders filling out his shirt oh so beautifully, glasses glinting in the evening sun.

(Funny how it had only been late morning when Jason had told Eggsy that his world was completely fucked.)

“Yeah?” Eggsy got out tightly.

“I was told I might be of use here,” Handsome replied, taking three cautious steps into the stable. He moved so smoothly, a predator eyeing Eggsy like—like—

Eggsy’s normally overly-poetic mind failed him, gazing into those heart-melting brown eyes. “Yeah,” he repeated. “Yeah, loose-boxes need mucking out. And the horses need to be brushed.”

Handsome nodded and looked around, going to the pitchforks when he spotted them. Eggsy could breathe without those eyes on him, and hurried to grab the bucket and wheelbarrow.

“Oh, I don’t think we were properly introduced,” Handsome commented. He smiled slightly and held out his hand when Eggsy looked at him. “My name is Harry.”

“I’m Eggsy,” Eggsy muttered, shaking the offered hand quickly. Then he realized his mistake, and cursed quietly, going to find the leads for the horses. Get the horses out first,  _ then _ muck out the boxes. Christ, Eggsy, get it  _ together _ .

While Eggsy led the horses out of the stable and picketed them, letting them nose each other and chomp the grass, Handsome Harry started on the first stall. It should be illegal to be so good-looking when dealing with animal shit, Eggsy thought gloomily to himself as he got started cleaning the water-buckets. He glanced at Handsome Harry’s back and bit his lip. He must be fifty if he’s a day, he scolded himself. Stop sighing over a bloke older than your parents!

On his next glance over (he couldn’t help himself, he needed to see those excellent shoulders again), he caught Handsome Harry watching him. He looked away quickly, hoping the other didn’t see him blush.

They worked in peaceful silence, and it was only when they’d started the last stall that Eggsy realized he’d been humming, like he did when he was alone or working with Dais or mum. He stopped immediately, of course.

Then Handsome Harry started humming, something from Evita. Eggsy couldn’t help it, he hummed along; Evita was his second-favorite musical, after all.

“So what happens now?” Handsome Harry sang ever so quietly. “So what happens now?”

“Where am I going to?” Eggsy sang softly.

“Don’t ask anymore.”

They were both silent for a moment. Then Handsome Harry said, not looking at Eggsy, “You have a good voice.”

Eggsy blushed, carefully focusing all his attention on the water bucket. “You can’t tell from just one line,” he muttered.

Handsome Harry straightened, leaning on his pitchfork. “On the contrary, I’m told I have an excellent ear, and you sound very good,” he retorted, gently.

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Daisy is better.”

“Daisy isn’t here right now. You are. And you’re good.”

Eggsy swallowed hard, hands shaking slightly. Handsome Harry could be flirting. But he could just be trying to be nice. Yes, it was probably the second one. Shit, this was so confusing. He was supposed to be sorting out how he felt about seeing his father, and now he was starting to feel things about a man he didn’t even really know. He was so tired. So tired.

“I’m gonna bring the horses back in,” he mumbled.

“Eggsy—“

He hurried out, keeping his eyes averted. He pretended he didn’t hear the soft sigh behind him.

When the horses were settled for the night, he went straight to the house where he and Daisy lived. Soon it’d just be him living there. Daisy and Jason were going to live at the hotel. Leaving Eggsy alone, for the first time in his life. He wasn’t ready for that. But it wasn’t his choice to make, so he should stop being scared already.

“Eggsy!”

He looked up, and standing in the doorway of the house were Roxy, Gazelle, Jamal, and Ryan. They were all beaming at him mischievously. He scowled.

“What do you lot want?” he demanded crossly.

“We want you to take a shower, first,” Roxy answered, wrinkling her nose. “You smell like horse manure.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I was muckin’ out the fuckin’ stables,” Eggsy retorted, pulling off his boots at the doorstep. Yes, there was horse shit stuck in the treads. “Why Jason’s mum insisted on putting up the horses  _ now _ , I’ve no idea.”

“Because she’s a demanding harpy and your mum is too nice?” Ryan suggested.

“Hush,” Gazelle ordered with a glare, and he obediently shut the hell up. He was very scared of Gazelle. She was a very scary woman when she wanted to be.

“Anyway, Eggsy, we want your help with something,” Jamal continued, still smirking.

Eggsy sighed. “What is it?” he asked heavily.

 


	2. Day 1A

In their room, Lee, Harry, and Merlin sat on their inflatable mattresses and occasionally spoke. Lee was thinking about his family. Merlin was missing his computers. And Harry had his chin in his hand and was frowning at the opposite wall.

“What are you scowling about, old man?” Merlin asked finally, as the last of the sun slid below the horizon.

“I’m only two years older than you,” Harry replied absently. Then he glanced uneasily at Lee. Lee caught the look, frowned quizzically… and then he sat bolt upright, anger and horror battling on his face.

“No,” he said flatly.

“I didn’t say anything,” Harry grumbled, turning his face away from Lee.

“Not my son.”

Merlin’s eyes widened, and he looked between his friends. “Harry…” he began slowly.

“I didn’t!” Harry snapped, still not looking at either of them.

“You thought about it,” Lee growled.

“Actually, I didn’t think about it either,” Harry replied, turning his head to finally meet Lee’s glare with a stubborn look of his own. “I won’t do or say anything. He’s too young.”

“Damn right he is,” Lee rumbled, still glaring. “Don’t touch him, don’t talk to him unless he speaks to you first, and don’t you  _ dare _ flirt with him.”

Harry nodded. “I won’t.”

~

Eggsy threw himself down on his bed and screamed into his pillow.

He’d just finished helping his friends with their special project, and now he was in his room, letting the day tear him apart. He knew they were still in the house—they were staying in the spare rooms, after all—but they knew not to interrupt him. He had to go through this on his own.

Lee hadn’t been a  _ bad _ father. He’d been the  _ best _ dad, in fact; which was why it had hurt so much when he abandoned them. Eggsy clearly remembered laughing so hard he fell over at his father’s antics. He remembered Daisy clinging to Lee and demanding just one more story before bed. He remembered how much love had been between him and mum, even after all those years.

He remembered Lee saying, “I have to leave.”

Eggsy hadn’t understood. Had tried to rationalize it. Had tried to tell himself dad would be back soon. But he was ten years old, too old and smart to believe that. So after a week had passed with mum crying every time she came home, and Daisy crying every night, because with mum working night shifts there was no one to read them bedtime stories, he’d decided he’d better be a better dad than Lee had. And he’d start as soon as possible.

Eggsy remembered getting out of bed, grabbing Daisy’s favorite chapter book, and sitting beside her and reading to her. She’d stopped crying to listen. And Eggsy had felt such a surge of triumph that he’d kept reading, all the way through, even though she’d fallen asleep halfway through.

He took a deep, shuddering breath and let it out, eyes shut tight against tears. He would not cry. He would  _ not _ cry. He was too old for that, now. And it was too late for tears to do any good.

Could he forgive Lee? No, not entirely. Never entirely. It was always going to hurt. And he knew, even with the way she pretended to be happy to see him, Daisy hadn’t forgiven him either. Maybe she’d seized this chance to find out why the fuck he’d gone. That sounded more like her. Seizing chances had always been her gift. She was so strong, doing what had to be done… and all Eggsy could do was mope and hold grudges.

“Eggs?”

Eggsy didn’t react. Daisy took this as permission to enter his room, stealing softly across the creaky floor to sit on the edge of his bed.

“Eggs, are you still mad at me?” she asked.

“I dunno,” Eggsy answered thickly.

“Are you still mad at dad?”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Absolutely.”

The frank admittance loosened some of the tension in him. “Then why did you invite him?”

“Because I thought I wasn’t.” Daisy laid down, her back pressed against Eggsy’s side. “I thought I was over it. But the more I talked to him, the more I wanted to slap him. He wanted to know everything, as if he couldn’t have found out if he’d just  _ stayed _ .” Daisy was silent for a moment. Eggsy relaxed a little more, recognizing the bitterness in her voice. “I would’ve been fine with even just a phone call or two,” Daisy whispered.

“I wouldn’t have,” Eggsy grumbled.

Daisy laughed shakily. “I know. You tried so hard to take over, tried to take care of us… you know, I hated you for it? After those first few months, I hated that you’d still read to me, that you’d cook, that you’d try to cheer me up. I wanted to be angry in peace, but you wouldn’t let me.”

“I didn’t want you to hate him as much as I did.”

“Well, I did. I do. And I know it hurts.”

“Is this the part where you tell me it doesn’t have to hurt if I just let it go?” Eggsy asked bitterly.

“No. This is the part where I tell you I  _ tried _ letting it go, and it didn’t do shit. So don’t bother.” She stood, and leaned down to kiss Eggsy’s head. “Glad we had this talk. I love you, Eggs.”

Eggsy let go of his pillow and searched out her hand; she took it and let him squeeze her fingers tightly. He didn’t trust his voice right then. But she knew what he meant. So she went back to her room, and Eggsy mulled over the conversation long into the night.

Day two of Dealing With His Feelings started very normally. He took a shower, dressed, and clomped downstairs for breakfast. He was the only one up at this hour; and normally he’d watch some telly as he waited for the others, but he wanted to think on his own. So he ate some cereal and then headed out to the stables.

The horses were sleepy, but willing to be let out in the paddock. Mum was planning to let people rent boxes for their horses, when everything was finished, although she’d have to hire someone to care for them. Eggsy hoped that, when the renovations were complete, she’d let him do the horse-care. He wasn’t trained, but he could learn, and he liked animals.

He started mucking out the first stable, singing to himself.

“One of us is crying,   
One of us is lying   
In his lonely bed,   
Staring at the ceiling,   
Wishing he was somewhere else instead—“

“Abba?”

Eggsy jerked, almost dropping the pitchfork. He hadn’t even heard the intruder. He looked up sharply, and tensed.

“Yeah,” he told his father curtly. “Mum likes them.”

“I remember,” Lee answered, his face a strange mix of emotions. Then he sighed and asked, “May I help?”

Eggsy hesitated.

“We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

Eggsy thought a little more. Then he nodded. He expected Lee to not know how to clean a stable, but he took up a pitchfork and bucket of his own and started on the box beside Eggsy’s. So he knew better than to try and work with Eggsy. That was good.

They worked in absolute silence. The work took half as much time, but it seemed to drag on for twice as long as usual. Eggsy remained tense for the whole time. Questions roiled in his head as his guts roiled in his abdomen. But he couldn’t decide which to ask first.

Finally, as they were carting the manure to the muck pile, he just burst out, “Why?”

“Why, what?” Lee asked, and Eggsy hoped he wasn’t imagining the faint apprehension. Eggsy turned to face his father, and Lee stopped walking, keeping his posture open and relaxed, though Eggsy could see his knuckles were white on the handles of the wheelbarrow.

“Why did you leave?” Eggsy demanded first, staring into Lee’s gray-green-blue eyes, so like Eggsy’s. “Why did you just… walk out?”

Lee’s mouth tightened, but he looked more worried than angry. “I was… I thought I was keeping you safe,” he answered slowly. “You, your mum, your sister. There was… a man. He threatened all three of you. He wanted your mother but he knew I wasn’t going to step aside. So he threatened to hurt you if I didn’t walk away.”

“So you just  _ did _ ?!”

“No, I did not,” Lee snapped. “I told him to go fuck himself. We got in a fight. Harry rescued my sorry ass before I was killed,” the twist to his mouth suggested those were someone else’s words, “And offered to make us disappear. All four of us. Send us somewhere safe.”

Eggsy opened his mouth to demand why Lee didn’t take the goddamn offer—then he remembered something. “A man came. He told mum she inherited money.”

Lee nodded wearily. “That was Harry,” he confirmed. “His job—before he retired, anyway—it was to help people. So he found the old woman your mum used to work for, the rich one who used to spoil you and your sister rotten. She was dying, and had already written Michelle into her will. Harry helped her revise it so it was iron-clad, so when she died and the money went to Michelle, no one could touch any of you. And Harry might have put this place in Michelle’s way as well.”

“Why didn’t you come with us?” Eggsy demanded, his throat tight. He was starting to really like Harry. At least he’d  _ helped _ .

Lee looked down, at the wheelbarrow of horse manure. “I was ashamed,” he said softly. “And the longer I stayed away, the more I was sure your three would hate me too much.”

“Well you were right,” Eggsy replied caustically. “We hate you.”

Lee nodded. It was hard to see his face, but Eggsy was fairly sure he looked sad. Good. “When are you gonna tell Dais and mum?” Eggsy demanded.

“When they ask.”

“No. Do it as soon as possible.” Eggsy glared as Lee looked up at him sharply, his own face incredulous. Eggsy knew this was thin ice, ordering around his own father, but god damn it, he wasn’t going to let his mum and sister be without an explanation, and he refused to be a go-between. “They need to know.”

Lee’s jaw tightened, but he wasn’t really looking at Eggsy. He nodded stiffly. “Alright,” he said softly. “Alright.”

They emptied the wheelbarrow in silence. Then Lee left, presumably to find either mum or Daisy. Eggsy went to fetch the horses.

Harry was standing in the paddock with the five horses, stroking a piebald’s nose as a strawberry roan lipped his hair. Eggsy’s heart began to beat a little faster. Oh, he was gone on him. But he steeled himself and walked over, smiling slightly as the roan immediately abandoned Harry and trotted over to Eggsy, tail and head high, and the other horses made happy little noises when they saw Eggsy. He stroked the roan’s nose, then pressed his forehead against its, closing his eyes and focusing on the contact. He needed a hug. Badly.

“You didn’t shout at him.”

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards bitterly. “Near thing,” he muttered, letting go of the horse. It nosed at his chest, and he obligingly scratched its chin.

Harry leaned on the gate, watching him thoughtfully. “Did he tell you everything?” Harry asked.

“I don’t know. He might’ve. Thank you, by the way.”

“For what?”

“For telling mum about the money. And the hotel.” Eggsy focused on the horse, not looking at Harry. He could feel himself starting to blush. Fuck.

“Is there a place we can sit?” Harry asked suddenly. “My knees are not what they used to be.”

“Um…” Eggsy looked around, but there was nothing. There was a bench in the stable, though. So he beckoned, and Harry climbed over the gate nimbly to follow him back to the stable. Eggsy turned away before Harry could see the flash of… whatever was making Eggsy tingle all over. Harry fell in beside him and Eggsy struggled to keep his eyes forward. He wanted to stare at Harry’s pecs. Really, it was unfair for an older bloke to be so fit.

They sat on the bench, Harry to Eggsy’s right. Eggsy started picking at his nails, then remembered himself and stopped. But there was nothing else to do with his hands. So he picked.

“What you have to understand,” Harry began slowly, not looking at Eggsy, “Is that Lee is still afraid. He didn’t want to go. He really didn’t. But the man who attacked him—Dean Baker, in case you cared to know his name—is one of those tricky men who seems like a run-of-the-mill thug until you put him in a place of power. Even in prison, he has plenty of influence, and he wouldn’t hesitate to send his thugs to hurt or kill you, your sister, and your mother, just to get back at Lee for refusing and fighting back. Merlin and I managed to stall him until you and your family got away from London, but we couldn’t stop him forever. We hid your tracks, and used Lee as bait so Baker wouldn’t follow you.”

“He still should’ve told us,” Eggsy muttered.

“Yes, he should’ve,” Harry agreed calmly, and Eggsy’s head snapped up to stare. Harry met his gaze and cocked an eyebrow. “You think we didn’t try to get him to contact you?” he asked dryly. “We gave up after a year. The damage was already too extensive by then. He insisted he was protecting you, but I think he was too afraid of your mother. From what I’ve heard and observed, she’s quite a fiery woman.”

Eggsy was gaping at Harry, eyes wide. He closed his mouth and looked away. He twitched as Harry put his hand on Eggsy’s shoulder.

“I know it hurts, and I know you can’t forgive him, but can you understand a little?” Harry asked gently.

Eggsy thought about it, he really did. But he couldn’t. So he shook his head. Harry sighed quietly, squeezed his shoulder gently, and stood.

“I hope you do, someday. If only for your own peace of mind.”

Then Harry walked away. Eggsy stared after him, and did not miss the way Harry’s hand, the hand he’d put on Eggsy’s shoulder, flexed a few times. But he couldn’t wonder at that. All he could wonder was if Baldy would be the next to try to get Eggsy to “understand”.

He rubbed his shoulder. Right. Time to get his daily chores from mum.

~

Harry was eating a (very) late breakfast in the kitchen when Merlin slouched in, scowling.

“Tea,” Merlin muttered, looking around blearily. “Tell me there’s tea somewhere around here.”

“If you ask nicely you can have some of mine,” Harry offered casually, gesturing at the tea service before him. “The cook is a very nice woman. You should thank her next time you see her.”

Merlin grunted and made a beeline for the teapot, grabbing up a cup and filling it to the brim before drinking it straight down. Then he poured a second cup, and drank that, too. Harry continued munching toast unconcernedly. When Merlin had three cups of excellent tea down his throat, he sighed and announced, “I am going to find whoever sold this place to Mrs. Unwin, and I am going to wring their neck.”

“Mold? Dead bat?”

“ _ Four _ ,  _ rotting _ dead bats.” Merlin sighed and collapsed in the chair across from Harry, long legs stretched out under the table. “The stench was so bad Madeline vomited.”

Harry winced. “Did you manage to hold your breakfast?” he asked, tone sympathetic.

Merlin glared at him. Harry raised his hands in submission, and went back to eating, with much noise. Merlin stared with longing at Harry’s breakfast plate, which was almost empty. Harry’s hand inched towards the last slice of bacon…

“Sod it,” Merlin muttered, grabbed the bacon, and scarfed it. Harry pushed his plate over to Merlin, who fell on the remnants like a starving wolf. The food was gone in two minutes. Merlin tended to be very hungry after being sick, mostly because he only ever vomited when someone else did. He couldn’t stomach (heh) the smell or sight of puke.

Lee came in, looking tired. There was a painful red mark on his cheek from where he’d been slapped very hard.

“I told Michelle,” he announced heavily, sitting down next to Merlin. “She’s pissed. Now I have to find Daisy.”

“What about Eggsy?” Merlin asked cautiously.

“Told him first. I wanted to talk to him about… but he asked, so I answered. I hope Daisy doesn’t slap me too.” Lee poured the last of the tea into Harry’s cup and stole it from him, ignoring Harry’s miffed expression. Then Lee glared at Harry and added sharply, “And don’t think I didn’t see you hanging around the stable while Eggsy was there.”

Harry tried to look innocent and failed, only looking uncomfortable. “I wanted to be sure he was alright after he finished yelling at you,” he muttered. Merlin’s eyebrows rose to his nonexistent hairline; Lee’s hands clenched tightly around the cup. But before there could be an altercation (and it wouldn’t have been the first time), the cook and her helpers bustled in. The three men turned to them with completely innocent faces, Lee even managing a smile, but the cook, Mrs. Chandler, was having none of it.

“Out,” she ordered sharply. “It’s almost noon, we have to start lunch.”

The men stood meekly and filed out.

Once they were in the hall, though, Lee rounded on Harry. “You wanted to be sure he was  _ alright _ ?!” he hissed.

“Yes,” Harry answered, putting on a stubborn face.

“Harry. Because we’re mates, I’m going to give you three minutes to explain what the  _ fuck _ that means before I punch you.”

Harry opened his mouth, closed it, frowned, opened his mouth again, took a breath, let it out, closed his mouth again and frowned harder. Merlin counted off on his fingers; thirty seconds… sixty seconds… ninety seconds… one hundred and twenty seconds…

Harry had just opened his mouth again when Lee’s fist lashed out, and landed squarely on Harry’s cheek. It wasn’t hard enough to break anything, but it was hard enough to send Harry stumbling back into the wall. Lee shook out his hand and walked away. Merlin shook his head with a sigh.

“You’d better keep away from the boy,” Merlin murmured, “Before he  _ really _ gets cross.”

Harry scowled at him. “Yes, Merlin, I am aware of the consequences of my actions,” he snapped, and went the opposite way of Lee.

Merlin looked between the two directions his friends had taken, shrugged, and poked his head into the kitchen. “If I help, can I have some more tea?” he asked.

~

Eggsy, Daisy, Roxy, and Gazelle were sitting on the stoop practicing making flower garlands. Well, Daisy and Roxy were; Eggsy was scowling as he tried to make a simple braid, and Gazelle had given up to fiddle with her prosthetics and watch Roxy work. Roxy was pretending not to notice Gazelle’s watching, but her cheeks were pink and her work was growing steadily more and more intricate as she showed off.

Then Lee appeared at a respectful distance and asked, only slightly nervous, “Daisy, can I talk to you for a moment?”

Daisy looked at him for a moment. Eggsy had warned her that Lee would want to talk to her about important stuff, and so she was wary. But she still smiled, stood, dropped her garland on Eggsy’s head, and followed Lee away to a distance where the others couldn’t hear. All three watched covertly, though. Eggsy smiled grimly as Daisy’s expression went from polite to surprised to hard. And when Lee had finished, Daisy spoke a few terse words and walked back to her friends and brother. Lee’s shoulders slumped. He turned and walked away.

“What was that about?” Roxy asked as Daisy resumed her seat and reclaimed her garland.

“Oh—family stuff,” Daisy answered vaguely.

The four of them had just begun to pick up conversation again when Harry entered the courtyard, gingerly rubbing the beginnings of a beauty of a bruise on his cheek. He saw them, and his mouth went tight. But he walked over and asked, carefully, “Do you know where Lee is?”

The four of them pointed. Harry nodded, and turned to walk away; then he seemed to think better of it, and sighed. It was an exasperated sigh, though.

“I’d better get some ice first before he punches me again,” Harry muttered.

“I can get some for you,” Eggsy blurted, and flushed as everyone stared at him. “Mrs. Chandler is probably busy, and she don’t like strangers in her kitchen when she’s busy,” he defended himself to them all.

“If you don’t mind terribly,” Harry said awkwardly.

Eggsy scrambled to his feet and hurried inside.

It was only when he was standing outside the kitchen that he realized he was being a complete fucking idiot. No turning back now, though. So he stepped inside carefully, to be met with a burst of laughter. He stared.

Baldy—Merlin—was sitting at the table, surrounded by Mrs. Chandler and the helpers. Merlin was telling a story, something involving Lee, Harry, a llama, and ripped trousers. He seemed to be enjoying himself, and the others were laughing along. So Eggsy snuck around the periphery of the room, snagging a tea-towel and a ziplock bag on his way to the freezer. He filled the bag with ice cubes, wrapped it in the towel, and snuck out again. Merlin had moved on to a story about Lee getting in a bar fight and he, Merlin, having to rescue him because Harry was drunk under the table. Eggsy really wanted to hear that one… but he had to hurry before Harry decided it wasn’t worth waiting.

When he got to the stoop, though, it was to find Harry sitting with Daisy, Roxy, and Gazelle, braiding flowers almost absently, talking to them about a time he’d had to save Lee and Merlin from a llama. Eggsy smiled slightly, and silently took his seat, handing the ice to Harry, who took it with a murmured thank you and pressed it gingerly to his bruise. Eggsy picked up his own pathetic braid and tried to fix it.

“No, you’re going at it upside-down,” Harry said suddenly, and Eggsy looked up, startled. “Your braid.”

“Oh.” Eggsy turned the paltry thing over in his hands, eyeing it with a frown. “You sure?”

“Yes.” Harry leaned over and rearranged Eggsy’s hands. “There. Try it that way.”

Eggsy did, carefully, and soon found it going much better. He listened as Harry moved on to a story about the last wedding he’d gone to, ten years ago, which he didn’t remember much, but…

“Merlin ended up doing a striptease because we ran out of cash for drinks,” Harry said, “And if you mention it to him he will vehemently deny that the bride’s grandmother stuffed a hundred-pound note in his—“

“AHEM.”

All five looked up, to see Merlin glaring down at Harry, arms crossed over his chest. Harry didn’t cower even a little bit. The four young people looked between them both with fascination.

“Are you going to tell them about how you stole the groom’s odious brother’s watch and ransomed it back for forty thousand pounds?” he asked dryly.

“No, I’d just gotten to the part where you ended up fleeing the scene naked because the bride offered to leave her husband for you and the bridesmaids stole your clothes,” Harry replied with a straight face.

“I did not ‘flee’. I walked away quickly.”

“Naked.”

“What about that anniversary party where you danced on a table?” Merlin sniped back. “I recall you losing your shirt and trousers for that one.”

“Yes, but at least no one said I’d look good in a furry suit.”

“That was  _ one time _ !”

“You mean one  _ person _ . I do think he meant it, the way he carried on about it.”

They continued to snipe at each other, being more and more embarrassing, until the four young people were covering their mouths and trying desperately not to laugh aloud. The “fight” culminated when Merlin snapped, “At least I never seduced a poolboy in front of his own mother!”

Harry’s back stiffened, and his slightly irritated expression vanished to make way for blankness. The four young people abruptly quieted, seeing his reaction.

“I did not seduce him,” Harry replied tightly.

“He certainly seemed seduced to me,” Merlin retorted caustically.

“…And this is when we all break for lunch,” Gazelle spoke up, breaking the tension as she stood and dusted herself off. She helped Roxy to her feet as Eggsy and Daisy scrambled up. Eggsy remembered Harry’s comment about his knees when he climbed slowly to his feet, wincing ever so faintly. He took half a tentative step forward, but Harry was already up, so Eggsy stepped back, missing the look his sister shot him.

“I am not that hungry,” Harry commented, “But I will gladly accompany you.”

“Shirker,” Merlin muttered. Harry ignored him.

The six of them filed inside and to the room that, in three days’ time, would hold the reception. Right now it was the designated dining room, where everyone from the workers to the early guests could sit and eat and rub elbows. No one minded. Lunch was a buffet; Eggsy ruffled Daisy’s short curls and chose an empty table, grinning as she glared at him in exasperation but picked up two plates. She knew what he’d like.

It seemed Harry hadn’t lied about not being hungry. He sat across from Eggsy, as far away from him as possible. Not that that was very far at all; the tables were round, but they were small. If Eggsy moved his leg forward, his toe would encounter Harry’s.

He picked at his nails. There was juice from flower stems all over his fingers.

“So what do you do here?” Harry asked suddenly.

“Um—mostly help with repairs. Sometimes I help guests. Daisy’s goin’ to school, though, so she’s workin’ at the apothecary.” Eggsy beamed just thinking about it. “She’s gonna be a psychiatrist.”

Harry seemed… a little surprised. “You’re not going to school too?”

Eggsy shrugged, smile fading. “Why should I? All my teachers told me I was too stupid for university, and I don’t wanna have to deal with the snobs. I don’t know how she does it, but I’m proud of her.”

“I do it by not believing people who tell me I’m ‘too stupid’ just because I’m not rich,” Daisy interrupted, setting Eggsy’s plate in front of him and sitting on his left. “You only had attention difficulties because no one listened to you. You  _ said _ ,” she insisted when he wrinkled his nose and turned his face away from her. “You  _ told _ me you didn’t pay attention to them because they didn’t pay attention to you.”

“Spiteful bugger,” Jamal added from behind Eggsy, making him and Daisy jump. Jamal sat to Eggsy’s right and grinned at Eggsy. “I still remember you throwing the cricket bat at the coach because he wouldn’t leave Danny alone.”

“That wasn’t spite,” Eggsy corrected him, blushing as Harry turned an amused look on Eggsy. “Coach was bullying Danny and someone needed to stop him.”

“By throwing a cricket bat at his head?” Daisy inquired dryly.

Eggsy was too embarrassed to properly fight back. “Eat your vegetables,” he ordered instead, “They’re good for you.”


End file.
